Friday, 27 September 2019

abyss

there is a pleasure
in
falling

into an abyss

so much that
no hand can reach
to pull you out

we all like visiting
that place
just to make sure
it exists
and we can return there
when
there's nowhere else to go

Monday, 10 June 2019

guilt

what is this guilt
this deep, strong
guilt of living, of life?
what is the word for it?

climbing the stairs and panting
guilt
sleeping safely in a room
occasionally waking up with a few mosquito bites
guilt
going to watch a movie
and feeling courageous of not conforming
guilt
eating, thrice a day, sometimes even more
and then exercising to lose it
guilt
the sheer possibility to waste,
tons and tons of waste
guilt
to be waited upon
guilt
getting paid at the end of the month
and paying, as well
guilt
having opinions and the liberty to voice them out
and accumulate likes on social media
guilt
missing home, family
guilt
writing poems

how is it possible to be guilty
and cherish the reason behind it,
at the same time?
to preserve it, the guilt, within,
to not let it out,
to cage it inside
and remain punished solely by oneself?



Tuesday, 11 December 2018

possess, not

there is this urge
a longing
to possess
whatever i see
i feel
experience
to possess the horizon
the taste of crimson 
in the evening sky
and the monotony of the waves
crashing over the rocks
to possess them
the difference between
the shades of green 
on a tree
the lapse in the movements
of a bird in flight
and the sound of dry leaves
crushing beneath my feet
possess the crescent
slowly dissolving
into the darkness
and the silence
pushing me into sleep
possess the power
of being able to stare
into the warmth
of the setting sun
and watch it reduce to nothing
possess the experience
of time passing by
with the changing light
and that fraction of second
when the mind melts
into dreams
possess each word
and what becomes of it
as it rushes
onto the supple surface of paper
from the growing limbs
of my thoughts


but

i don't want to belong,
in that possession,
to anything
anyone
belong not
to my own thoughts
heaving my body down,
to the wind 
pulling my hair 
and trying to take me along
belong not 
to the fresh stain on my sleeve
or the man staring at me
with his comfortable piercing 
thoughts

how is that possible

belong nowhere
and still possess it all?


Thursday, 1 February 2018

Blue

my hands are very cold
blue blood
rushes
and stays
at the tip of m
y fingers

it's been two hours
between your warm hands
but didn't you just come?

he says he has to leave
it's getting late

but you just came
I say

he rubs my hands
puts them in his pocket
and leaves

my hands are warm now
but I feel
very
blue

Thursday, 21 December 2017

orange

isn't it good sometimes
to be stuck in traffic
and stay
stuck
not reach
the destination
destiny
anywhere

i have an orange
in my bag
it travels with me
to work
and back home
i always forget
to eat it
it stays
in a corner
of my bag
i like it
there
stuck
waiting
while i
listen to the impatient
honking cars
flickering lights
people with music
in their ears
and games in their hands

but
the orange
stays
sitting in it's dark
warm
corner

waiting

Wednesday, 22 November 2017

bleeding silence

my pages are bleeding
light
bleeding silence
rising and falling
waves of silence
thoughts pierce the skin

my body aches to the touch
of this silence

i turn around
once again,
its 3am
my clock has stopped running
resigned it rests, tired
weighing on my eyelids

i'm conscious of the weight
of the transition

and the cycle goes on

until I lose attention
and
fall...


Friday, 3 November 2017

walking in circles

i
keep walking
in circles
through the same dark roads
which take me home

wait

until
I breath the moonlight
while life overtakes me

you should wait

unlike those
who keep driving me
towards the dark road
which begins
and ends at home

you should wait
till morning

let me pluck
the sun from the horizon

let me see it
wither
back
to the ground


wait

while life overtakes